3 Truths Breathing Life into Weary Lungs

I rarely write on other topics throughout a Bible study series, but there’s something I need to share with you today. I hope you’ll find some hope through this post, because it comes from the deepest, most tender place inside my heart. I have a very strong feeling there are a lot of people who, like me, are struggling. Maybe you’re one of them. If you’re not, maybe you’ll choose to share this with someone who needs it.

__________________________________________________________________

I have a lot to say and rarely know how to say any of it. Last week, two women showed up at my door to share their faith, and though my belief system is much different than theirs, I was confused as to how to communicate what I wanted to say. I shied away from a God-given directive to invite them to my table for coffee. As I closed the front door, choosing not to extend an invitation, the Holy Spirit conveyed this thought: “I don’t need you to defend me, Jennifer. I only need you to show I live inside you.” Though there is no condemnation in Christ, I still felt as if I’d failed.

These days, I often feel like a failure. My mind is overrun with thoughts of not writing well enough, speaking well enough, parenting well enough, and the list goes on. I’m living with anger, fear, and good-old-fashioned remorse. I’m not who I was and can’t seem to figure out who I am. I find myself looking at the sky asking, “What is it? What do I need to know, so I can feel like me again?”

I walk around angry inside and no one knows it. I attend functions, and smile for selfies, without allowing a hint of the crumbling happening way down deep to show. I laughingly play with my kids and make my family dinner all the while feeling lifeless inside. I’m not upset with anyone in particular, and I’m not at all faulting God for any of this. It just so happens, like many others, I’m on the battlefield of life. This particular battle might just be the toughest one I’ve ever fought. The struggle to choose joy is real.

However, when I find myself overthinking how I feel, the wind blows…

I’ve been fascinated with wind for several years now. We see the power of it inside storms and feel its gentle breeze when our skin needs cooled. The Hebrew word ruach literally means wind, spirit, or breath. Because of this, every time the trees move I picture the breath of God. All through the Bible we see the significance of the Almighty’s breath. In Him we live, move, and have our being and it’s all because our God breathes.

I’ve been in need of some spiritual resuscitation, and there are three pieces of truth continuing to breathe life inside these weary lungs.

  1. I don’t have to be enough, because He has always been enough for me.

This can be tough to comprehend, but it is what it is: We weren’t meant to be enough on our own. It’s the mighty power of God that equips, making us conquerors. It’s never about us and always about Him.

  1. I breathe only because He gave me breath.

We breathe because He allows it. It’s that simple. The most incredible part of this is He knows each one of us, and purposed before time that we would carry His breath in our lungs. Anyone who has ever walked this planet was chosen by the Almighty.

  1. The one who designed redemption is more than capable to redeem my pain.

In the midst of grief, the only reason my mind is sound is because He makes all things well. Believe me, I look at my situation and question the meaning of redemption. I don’t see it, but I know He redeems everything. I have to trust in His blueprint of restoration regardless of how much I wish I could have drawn the plans. My human condition cannot begin to engineer any worthwhile design at all. Christ alone.

I lost my brother this summer, and with him went part of me. I’m learning how to be an only child. I feel a little lost and a lot confused. I won’t ever be the same, but I must stand up and start shouting hallelujah!

You see, I’m not meant to stay the same on this earth. Comfort cages, cages confine, and as much as I loathe suffering, I don’t want the Spirit of God inside me to be soft, sweet, and content. I want the Spirit of God inside me to be a raging wind. His breath blustering through my lungs is all I want. It’s His life-giving power that transforms, heals, and overflows into other lives. I need to shut down all other feelings. What about you?

Dear friend, regardless of what you’re going through, do not allow horrific change to hinder your growth. Instead, let it propel you forward into the arms of the only One who can give you spiritual CPR and heal you from the inside out.

Do not be contained; be contagious.

  • Your hope is in Christ.
  • Your life is in Him.

And it all starts with the power of His breath.

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

-Philippians 4:7 (NIV)

In Greek, the word transcends means to throw over or beyond, to run beyond.

  • However you feel today, run beyond it.
  • Whatever your circumstances are, run beyond them.

Run into the wind… into the mighty breath of God.

Love,

Jennifer

Comments

  1. Jennifer,
    I know exactly what you are saying! I understand completely! My daddy died in January of this year. I lost my joy that day and I am searching for it again. I lost my job of 14 years. I have peace! I know God is good and He is working in this situation for my good and His glory. I do not feel like I do anything right either. Sometimes, I think maybe I just do not want to be here anymore, but God wants me to be here or He would take me home. Home sounds so good compared to this fallen world. I know the devil wants me to give up, but that God something inside of me cannot do it! Thank God! I just choose everyday to fight the good fight. Put on the Armor of God because He has won the victory!
    Love in Christ,
    Cindy Williams

  2. Jennifer,. Please know that this site is helping so many people. I look forward to it every Wednesday and Friday. You are definitely doing something right! The enemy uses the feeling of inadequacy a lot on people I think. Especially when we’re feeling weak. We all need to do just what you said and run beyond it. You are an amazing person!

  3. Jane Wetzel says:

    Thankyou Jennifer and Cindy for sharing. I am struggling with all of what shared . You both have helped me this day! The Lord Jesus is working! God bless your day

  4. Thank you for sharing your real struggles. I too have had a difficult year. In March, my mother-in-law passed away. She had been in declining health over the past year or so, but it is still never easy to lose someone, ready or not. My husband is an only child and since our marriage 12 years ago, we have kind of been living close to his parents, especially the last 4 years, so that we could help his parents as needed. We did talk about “someday” moving down south to be closer to my family, so we decided to put our house on the market Easter weekend to see what would happen. About that same time, I was hearing news that my own dad wasn’t doing well in his health (my mother passed away back in ’99 from an unexpected stroke), so it made the decision to move easier. We did sell our house, but unfortunately, we did not have closing on the house until after my dad passed away from a stroke. We have now been living close to my family for the past two months and it has been such a blessing for me.
    Cindy, I’m so sorry to hear about your situation as well. I don’t know you but God knows you intimately and cares for you. I have lifted you up to the Father that your joy may be found again!
    I also wanted to thank you, Jennifer, for allowing God to use you here on your blog. You have been a blessing to me many times.
    Thank you!

    • Lillie,
      I’m so sorry about your mother-in-law and your father. I’m praying for you today! I know what it is to move away and then move back near family. It’s wonderful. I’m so glad you are blessed to be near people who support and love you! Thank you for joining this conversation. I’m hoping to hear from you again. Have a blessed day!

  5. Anonymous says:

    Dear Jennifer

    I feel like God led me to your site at just the right time. Unlike others who have posted I am grieving the loss of someone who still walks on this earth, my precious first born daughter. You see 4 years ago she met a young man who convinced her that I was emotionally unsafe and he took here away from her whole loving family. You see before this week were close and loved being together. They play games with us, he is has narcissistic personality disorder. We have had to tell then not to contact us anymore because of the c emotional trauma it causes. My counselor says I have PTSD because of all of this. My heart is broken but I continue to try to go on. Recently, my husband and I seperated for a few weeks. I thought it was the end of my marriage too but by God s grace we are still together and walking this painful road. I have seen God’s grace so many times and my hope is in him not in reconcilation with my daughter. Like Job, i am learning how to deal with this grief and still praise God in the storm.

    Thank you for your transparency! So many Christians can’t deal with these hard emotions! Bless up Jennifer!

Leave a Reply