One hundred five days…

Psalm 105:4

Seek the Lord and His strength; seek His face evermore!  (N.K.J.V.)

We all need the Lord’s strength every day, but I most certainly need it today.  Have you ever known you were supposed to do something but felt completely insecure?  For me, this blog is a clear-cut example.  The other day I found it important to share what I entitled, “Fulfilling Your Ministry.”  God has been speaking those words to me on a daily basis. Consequently, I spend a lot of time saying things like, “Are You sure, Lord?  I don’t have a language arts degree.  I know You know that, Father, so why are You insisting I do this?  But God, I’m afraid of sounding stupid!”  Many times, I act like a child in the middle of a tantrum.   Can anybody relate?  It will make me feel much better if you do.

From the time I was a little girl, I second guessed everything I did.  I grew up with a learning disability.  It’s hard for me to share about it.  If I wanted to get a “C” on something, I had to study three times as hard as the next person.  It was discouraging, so I quit studying.  I quit believing in myself.  The problem is I should have never believed in myself in the first place.  God is Whom I must believe; only He can give the fortitude to forge ahead.

Here are the facts…

1. It does not matter how I view myself.  (Too much self examination takes away from examining God, learning Who He is, and giving Him glory.)
2. God sees more in me than I ever could.  (I don’t have to understand why He calls me to fulfill certain tasks; I just need to obey.)
3. I need to learn to trust Him.  (Every time I think I’ve completely grasped this lesson, I realize I have work to do.)
4. I don’t have to see the finish line; I just need to keep running.  (I might run short of breath during the race, but He provides the oxygen.)

God is calling me to a new ministry.  When I began this blog, I promised myself I would always be honest.  What you’ve read today is from my heart.  My writing is meant to be an honest portrayal of who I am and, hopefully, a spiritual evolutionary process of who I am becoming.

If you feel inadequate to fulfill your call but you know it’s from God, my advice is to surrender to Him and obey.  I have no doubt He will give you the fortitude to forge ahead.

What is God calling you to do?  Sometimes sharing it with others is the first step.