I’m not kidding when I say I have a mountain of laundry piled high enough for experienced climbers to train for Everest. I aim to keep my house tidy. However, I do have a sign in my kitchen serving as a disclaimer (just in case you catch me on a not-so-tidy day) that reads, “Martha Stewart doesn’t live here!”
For years, I would spend time burning myself out emotionally trying to create a “Martha Stewart vibe” in my home. I wanted things to look perfect, taste perfect, and essentially be perfect. A few years ago, I let go of that self-imposed stress. Nobody expected perfection of me but me. Balance is everything. I want to enjoy my life. I would rather spend time doing things that bring me joy. In no particular order, I love to shop, spend time with my family, read, sing, play piano, lead worship, write, study my Bible, speak to women, help lead the youth ministry, play games with friends, host dinner parties, vacation, and shop some more. I have some close girlfriends and whether we are attending a fancy event or a silly amusement park, we coordinate outfits. Sometimes the outfits are identical. We are quirky and crazy. I love every minute of it!
I’ve spent a lot of time critiquing everything I’ve ever done. I can be very insecure. The other day as I was “beating myself up” about something, I had an epiphany. When I put too much focus on me, I’m taking focus off the Lord. I don’t want my insecurities to somehow turn into a twisted form of narcissism. While I’m standing on the doorstep waiting for the door marked 40 to open up, I’m reminding myself daily to breathe easy (in through the nose, out through the mouth). I’m working to let go of as much stress as possible, and remembering that If I strive to please my God first, everything else will fall in line. It doesn’t mean I won’t run insanely around the house cleaning up when friends or relatives call last minute to say they are on their way over. It doesn’t mean stress and anxiety won’t win a battle every now and then. What it does mean, is that I’m allowing myself to be clay in the Potter’s hand. I’m working hard to be the person He wants me to be.
In conclusion, sometimes the laundry is Everest. That’s just the way it is, and it’s okay.