empty crib

I’ve been praying hard today.

Through the gift of social media, I’ve connected with some lovely people whom I would have never known of otherwise.  Today, I’ve had the privilege of praying for two of those people who are having a difficult time because of loss.  I can identify.

Losing a child through miscarriage or stillbirth is a lonely process.  I say lonely, because if someone hasn’t experienced such a loss they cannot begin to understand the grief associated with it.  Furthermore, even if they have experienced it, it is complicated to put into words how crippling it can be to the heart.  Moreover, most people do not want to discuss it.  There is a stigma of silence attached to it.  It’s awful.

This kind of loss will cause you to miss someone you never truly knew in a way you never thought possible.  In my book, Nothing to Hold but Hope I communicate what I feel is the reason for this.  I believe it is the “what ifs” of your baby’s life, which will cause you to miss him or her so deeply – never knowing what they looked like or what type of person they would have been can drive a mother crazy with wonderment. And let’s not forget the connection God places between mother and child from the very beginning.  It runs deep. Very deep.

I suffered 5 miscarriages.  I also, due to an umbilical cord accident, lost one daughter to stillbirth at 34 weeks into the pregnancy.  I think of those babies often.  However, I don’t think of them in a way that hinders me emotionally.  It is only because of my relationship with Jesus that joy came in the morning, through the mourning.  As a parent, you will always have a place in your heart for the baby you lost.

I am so thankful for a God Who not only loves us through our pain but understands our pain, as well.  He watched His own Son suffer and die on the cross.  He did it for us.  It’s unfathomable.

If you are suffering because of a similar circumstance, I want to let you know that I understand. Even if I don’t know you personally, I am praying for you.  You are the reason God put it on my heart to begin this journey.  Press into Him and hold onto Hope.  You are loved.

 

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