Yesterday, I took the kids swimming here at the hotel. When we finished they were shivering and anxious to return to our room. Like little ducklings they followed me. We trudged through the halls while wrapped up in towels carrying water wings. Their shoes were only halfway on their little feet. Tripping, brush burns, and crying ensued as we made our presence known to all the other hotel guests. (I was the one crying. Well, not really, but I wanted to cry.) When we finally arrived at our door, I reached into my purse to pull out my keycard. As I was trying to slide the card, I was looking at the kids in hopes of comforting them so we didn’t get thrown out of the place. I also wanted to make sure we didn’t leave a trail of evidence consisting of pool toys and water wings. The door wouldn’t open. What??? I looked closely. Yeah, note to self… a Victoria Secret free panty card will NOT open a hotel room door.
I think the mother/child connection happens to be the most complex, agonizing, and beautiful story of love ever communicated between one human heart to another. In what other relationship would you take a bullet for someone, yet passionately pray down on your knees for a five minute escape from them? I used to think the old Calgon Bubble Bath commercials were silly. I mean, how can bubble bath “take you away” and make all your problems disappear? Um, this was clearly the school of thought I had before children. A bubble bath can save a mother’s life!
I experienced secondary infertility and pregnancy loss. Every time I lost another baby I knew what I was missing. And when the pregnancy tests would show one pink line instead of two, my heart would break. However, four years ago, my life changed. God opened my womb and things will never be the same. There is an almost 16 year span from my first child to my twins. I have literally started parenting all over again.
This time around I’m obviously much older. I was age 19 when I delivered my oldest son and age 35 when I gave birth to the twins. For those of you around my age, which is now 40, you know that numerous changes occur in life between ages 20 and 35. (If you are still in your 20s and have not experienced these changes yet, jump up and down while doing the happy dance. Hey, just being able to jump without peeing a little is reason to rejoice.) All joking aside, there are also countless wonderful changes that come to life with age.
I love every moment of this new journey in my life. Even the moments when my mind is so preoccupied that I try to use a free panty card to open a door. I’ve been pondering the differences in parenting regarding who I was as a younger mother verses who I am as an older mother. There are definitely positive perspectives from both angles. I’m working to comprise a list.
Younger Me vs. Older Me
- No money Some money
- Full of energy Fully dependent on caffeinated beverages
- Body parts high Body parts low
Oh my! Enough of that. I’m thinking a list wasn’t such a good idea. At any rate, I might be older, but I have more wisdom to glean from this time around. I also have more motivation than ever before to try to beat this body in to submission through diet and exercise. I need to live for these kiddos. (We’ll just ignore the carbalicious, buttery, blueberry scone next to me.)
God has given me a new start, and I’ve never been so thankful for anything in my life. I’ve seen miracles unwrap like gifts right in front of me. God has taught me more about faith and trust than I ever thought I would need to know.
Whatever you are in need of in your life, God knows all about it. Do not be discouraged on your journey. One of my life scriptures while I was waiting on God was Joshua 1:9. I encourage you to read it, memorize it, and apply it to your life. God works through His word and He is waiting to speak to you through it.
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your GOD is with you wherever you go.” (N.K.J.V.)
Two questions for you…
- Do you have a life verse?
- Have you ever tried to open a hotel door with a Victoria Secret free panty card? (I have a feeling I might be alone in this one.)
Hey, another great moment! While I was stealing time to write, my daughter was spinning my son around on a hotel room chair. I now have vomit to clean up. Ugh… nix what I said about the blueberry scone. I now have an aversion to it…