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This is National Infertility Awareness week.  Today, right at this very moment, there are many women across this country who are sitting in waiting rooms for lab work, ultrasounds, and consultations. Many of them will leave defeated and devoid of all hope.

Some couples will be able to handle devastating news. They will pick up where they left off, cling to each other in the midst of trial, and keep moving to the next appointment, the next course of action, the next set of results.  And some will fall apart. They will blame each other, feel ashamed of each other, and cry separately instead of together.

My husband and I cried together. We comforted one another and loved regardless of the fact that one of our bodies was failing. That my body was failing…

I blamed myself. He wouldn’t allow it.

I said, “This is all my fault.” He said, “You didn’t choose this.”

I cried hot tears of anger mixed with the deepest and loneliest pain I had ever felt, but he wouldn’t let me cry alone.

My message today is to all the husbands and wives struggling with trying to figure out how to hold tight to each other when the wind wants nothing more than to divide and carry you apart.

You need to cry together. It’s okay.

Yes, it is true that oftentimes one half of the couple needs to provide strength when the other half is weak but with a storm this fierce, sometimes you both need to grab onto each other and cry long and loud.

Crying can undeservedly be seen as weak.  From experience, I will tell you that is an inaccurate viewpoint. Crying with each other mingles your tears, those tears when mixed together build unity, and it is in that unified moment you become stronger than ever.

Cry together. When you are finished, dry each other’s tears and keep going… stronger.