Desert Photo blog picture (Small)It was just another day, just another appointment to check my progress. I was thirty-two weeks pregnant – huge and tired, but so excited for my baby girl to arrive.

When the doctor walked in the room, we reviewed my chart and covered the questions that I had for her. Next, she listened for the baby’s heartbeat. “Wow, did you have some caffeine today?” I was puzzled by the question, “No, I haven’t had any.” She explained that the baby’s heart rate wasn’t out of range but was a little higher than normal. No cause for alarm . . .

Little did I know that, two weeks later, I would enter a battlefield.

I was being led to a dry, thirsty land and would remain there, fighting, for a very, very long time.

If there is anything I could go back and change regarding my time in that battle, it would be the question, “Why?”

We all ask that question. It’s normal. However, it’s when we can’t move on from it that we end up in stuck with no hope of forward motion.

Above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able
to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one.

– Ephesians 6:16 (NKJV)

I spent far too long asking a question for which I will never know the answer. And during my lamenting over it, I let my guard down. Fiery darts flew at me, left and right, and I was busy shaking my fists at God, screaming, “Why?” over and over and over again. I was too angry to use my shield of faith to quench those darts.

How are you supposed to find beauty in the battle when you lose a baby to a cord accident at thirty-four-plus weeks?

Well, believe it or not, the battlefield is soaked with grace and its soil is rich in mercy. (Tweet that)

You won’t find it unless you dig into it, but when you do, the why isn’t as important as it once was. The question, “How?” takes precedence.

How am I going to claim victory?

How am I ever going to be okay again?

Those are the questions that help to propel forward motion through the battlefield.

Have you been spending too much time asking, “Why?”


If you would like to find out how to receive my eBook, Mercy Waits for free, click here!








Pin It on Pinterest

Share This