After the death of my daughter through stillbirth, I struggled with infertility – yet another fiery dart that I had no choice but to endure.
I had to go on with normal life. And normal life included other women’s pregnancies and their healthy babies. I had to fight against anger – anger against women who were just living their lives, anger against my failing body, anger against my God.
I chose to use grace as a weapon and it helped me defeat anger in my life. Whether I felt like it or not, speaking grace enabled me to free myself of an anger that wanted to ravish me like a cancer.
He who loves purity of heart and has grace on his lips,
the king will be his friend.
– Proverbs 22:11 (NKJV)
As I was muddling through life filled with so much pain, people who meant well made the most insensitive statements to me. Remember that old show The Honeymooners? Ralph used to say to his wife, “To the moon, Alice!” Well, I wanted to pull out my fists and punch a few people straight there . . . to the moon! Nice, right? Again, I’m being honest.
God convicted me. It wasn’t so much what they said, even though it sounded insensitive, as it was the way I perceived it. I was sick at heart. I had to practice speaking with grace on my lips. If I didn’t, I was only going to continue to hurt. Not to mention – people probably wouldn’t like me so much anymore. I mean, who wants to be around someone who would like to send them to the moon with their fists?
When we have grace on our lips and speak kindness to others, regardless of what they say to us, there is peace from anger. Once again, it’s a process of learned behavior. It takes work – lots and lots of work!
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Dear Jennifer
Oh, I know how difficult it is when we battle with something and others say something insensitive, according to us, of course, to not lash out. Fm/CFS is not a well understood illness and people can be very ignorant about the suffering we experience on a daily basis, but I have learned to ask Pappa to forgive them, because they really don’t know what they are doing. The problem lies with me; not them!
Blessings XX
Mia
Hi Mia. I’m so sorry you are battling illness. I am praying for you!
Wow, that was the word I needed to hear today. Somehow I can’t see you punching anyone 🙂 On my way to work I was thinking about forgiveness and how that isn’t all we have to do. We have to forgive and bless them spiritually. Someone made an insensitive comment towards me yesterday and I overreacted. I thought next time I need to operate out of grace and mercy in my response. It does take practice, practice practice.
Thank you for words from God
Mike
I’m so glad you enjoyed the post, Mike! Oh, I’ve been known to put my fists up, I’ve never actually used them, but I’ve thought about it!
for the years we were trying to conceive and couldn’t i remember how it felt every single person around me was pregnant – even my CAT was pregnant!! and then when we began experiencing miscarriages.. yes, the insensitivity of people just left me like ralph, wanting to knock a few to the moon! i’m not sure i ever mastered the art of speaking w/ grace, still working on that one, but your words convicted and reminded me THIS is the characteristic of God’s people.. to return good for evil.
thanks again for this honest and real post!
Amber, so many people speak with insensitivity without even realizing it. That is why grace is necessary. And not only for them, but for us as well. I’m glad you are enjoying the posts. Thanks for reading!