After the death of my daughter through stillbirth, I struggled with infertility – yet another fiery dart that I had no choice but to endure.
I had to go on with normal life. And normal life included other women’s pregnancies and their healthy babies. I had to fight against anger – anger against women who were just living their lives, anger against my failing body, anger against my God.
I chose to use grace as a weapon and it helped me defeat anger in my life. Whether I felt like it or not, speaking grace enabled me to free myself of an anger that wanted to ravish me like a cancer.
He who loves purity of heart and has grace on his lips,
the king will be his friend.
– Proverbs 22:11 (NKJV)
As I was muddling through life filled with so much pain, people who meant well made the most insensitive statements to me. Remember that old show The Honeymooners? Ralph used to say to his wife, “To the moon, Alice!” Well, I wanted to pull out my fists and punch a few people straight there . . . to the moon! Nice, right? Again, I’m being honest.
God convicted me. It wasn’t so much what they said, even though it sounded insensitive, as it was the way I perceived it. I was sick at heart. I had to practice speaking with grace on my lips. If I didn’t, I was only going to continue to hurt. Not to mention – people probably wouldn’t like me so much anymore. I mean, who wants to be around someone who would like to send them to the moon with their fists?
When we have grace on our lips and speak kindness to others, regardless of what they say to us, there is peace from anger. Once again, it’s a process of learned behavior. It takes work – lots and lots of work!
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