I had my own agenda for today, but God is rewriting it…
I wish I was the patient one: slow to speak, slow to anger, slow to the constant turning of this world. I’m learning, but I’m not there yet.
You see, I want to keep pressing onward. I want to move from one situation to the next. Actually, I should clarify. Before I move ahead, I want to edit my life: rewind the heartache, delete it completely, and then run far and fast.
And God says, “Wait.”
Sometimes, leaping into forward motion too quickly isn’t in His agenda. Often, the slow, still, moments that make one thoughtfully and prayerfully consider wisdom are what He requires. And I often want to do anything but play back the reality of my life like a movie through my mind. There is no delete button there…
I want to keep going so I don’t relive certain moments and memories. I’m tired of hot tears burning my face and rolling from my chin. I’m ready to fly.
And God says, “Just let me hold you.”
I don’t know why it’s so hard to stop. I guess because if I do then I might have to stare grief in the face. I shudder at the thought. But seriously, have I been able to look anywhere else? Right now, grief is the place where I reside. And, today, He wants me to embrace it with the knowing that He is there with me. He is inside it too. He never leaves me.
As I’m typing to you, I’m looking outside my window. The trees are bending in the wind. The breath of God is moving them. And I know He’ll move me too. It’s only a matter of time until the famous words which cry, “This too shall pass” will become a reality in my life. I won’t ever forget the pain of today, of the last eight weeks, but I will take a deep breath in knowing I live inside the moments which were designed uniquely for me by a creator whose work is priceless. And I’m not there alone. An artist never stays alone. He creates the work and then molds it until it’s beautiful. The two become one.
My life is art in the making, friend. And so is yours.
Rest in Him. If He says, “Wait,” Then wait. Obediently walk the path created for you. Listen for His voice. It whispers peace; it sends hope. And you’ll know. You will know when it’s time to move onward. Doors will open and you will walk through them – stronger because of where you’ve been, and beautifully brave because of the mark on your life. It’s not the mark of grief; you are marked only with love – molded like clay into a priceless work of art made to bring Him glory.
So do that. Bring Him glory.