Some days I wake up with nothing to say. I’m completely dry of all words. And then there are moments like today when I can open up my laptop and never stop the heart flow.
If there is anything that each one of us has in common, it’s that we are all in a season of life. Some of us are over the moon with joy and happiness as we embark on new adventures filled with hope and promise. There are others who are at the opposite end of the spectrum filled with grief and despair. They’ve hit rock bottom and aren’t sure if they will find their way back up. And then there are those in between.
I have to tell you, I’m living somewhere deep inside the in between.
I know exactly where my hope rests. I know that ultimately Christ holds all things in His hands, and having even an inkling of His unending faithfulness is what gives me courage to face every new day. I believe there is always brand new mercy waiting.
You see, the holidays are approaching and in my family, we are missing someone. He is celebrating in heaven this year. I’m so wrapped up in his absence that I’m dreaming about it every night.
To say goodbye without warning, to someone young and who wasn’t sick, has left me walking through life in a complete daze. I’m holding onto Jesus, but I still feel like I’m balancing on a tightrope.
I’m trying to grasp the fact that he won’t be at the table on Thanksgiving, or that I won’t have to open 15 boxes to find my real present on Christmas morning. Friends, I’m not ready for the void to open wider with the upcoming season – the season that is supposed to be merry and bright.
I’m. Not. Ready.
I bet there are many of you out there reading this who are going through similar emotions. There has been a shift in your universe and your trying to maintain a new normal without really knowing what that looks like.
Today, I write to tell you this: You are not alone. I’m not alone. None of us are alone.
I find a lot of comfort in knowing I serve a God who knows what it is to hurt and who understands the temptation of anger and questions of why in the middle of it all…
Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. 15 For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. 16 Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
Hebrews 4:14-16
Every single day, regardless of what I feel like, I boldly approach the throne of grace. On my knees I cry out for mercy, strength, and a renewal of hope in all things true. My prayers are love letters to my God covered with tear-stained trust in His truth. I am certain He does all things well. Even when those things hurt…
When we put our hope in Jesus we have the assurance of knowing we will be okay. We won’t be unmarked. We will have scars, but those scars make us beautiful.
We are going to be okay.
In the end, we serve a God who can see the entire picture. He has painted it. So, I’m choosing to trust the Artist.
What about you?
Love,
Jennifer
