Life is messy and mirrors seem to reflect the mess. Sometimes I hate mirrors. I fully believe that everyone owns a unique sense of beauty, and completion of our souls begin when we connect to the lovely parts of the inside. However, there are days I just wish I was taller, thinner, and could wear that little black dress on New Year’s Eve. (Not that I go anywhere to wear one, but you get the point.)
I had a ridiculously, immature argument with my husband this morning that sent me to the freezer grabbing a container of Haagen Dazs Carmel Cone ice cream. I ate the whole thing! In other words, it’s time to burn the little black dress. True confession: My name is Jennifer Kostick, and I eat my feelings.
Later in the day he sent me roses. I wanted to post a picture on Instagram until I wondered what in the world I would capture it… Maybe something like, “Here’s what you get after acting like an adolescent. Go me!” News flash: I’m not someone that posts pictures on social media acting like everything is perfection when it isn’t. What you see is what you get.
I’m telling you all this because as wonderful as it is to write about the hope that comes with the celebration of our Savior, Christmastime also evokes emotional tantrums. I don’t just unwrap hope at Christmas, I unwrap a little crazy too! Did I hear someone say amen?
Life gives us days when hope seems incognito, as if it’s never going to show up, and our flesh has a way of falling for the nonsensical lies from the enemy that tell us it’s coming for everyone but us.
Today I was mad.
M.A.D.
Mad that I’m not more patient, mad that I fall short from being the person I want to be, AND, mad that I can’t fit into even one of the black dresses in my closet. I was mad over superficial ideas of who I would like to be, and now that I’m thinking clearly, I can hear God saying, “JUST STOP IT!” Encouraging, right?
I mean seriously, you probable thought I was going to tell you that God said He loves me, or that I’m special, beautiful, and blah, blah, blah… Nope. He told me to stop it. Not audibly of course, but in the way you know something greater is speaking and it’s time to listen.
Sometimes we just need to stop and force ourselves to look around at what we have instead of what we don’t. Friend, I have more than most. It’s silly to argue over issues that have no long term meaning. It’s even worse to worry about fitting into little black dresses. (But I’m human, and female, so I will be working on that in 2016!)
Distraction is part of our inability to find hope. We lose focus and forget rather than hone in on the beauty of everyday.
We are all going to have bad days. Days that include silly squabbles with our spouses or significant others. At one time or another, our dresses won’t zip. And if you’ve never had that problem, I’m happy for you. And a little jealous too. I digress. The point is that we have made-up definitions of what our lives should look like and when something disturbs it, we lose focus and hope seems as if it doesn’t exist.
It does exist.
If you’ve suffered a not-so-great-day, maybe you need to stop it too.
Stopping forces stillness, and stillness enables us to focus on the hope that’s headed our way.
Don’t let yourself become lost in the trivial matters of whatever this day holds. Instead, find hope in spite of those moments.
No matter how faraway it seems, hope is coming. In fact, it’s knocking on the door right now.
It’s okay to have bad days, as long as we allow hope to pull us back toward the good ones.
Hope is coming.
Love,
Jennifer
