Ninety days…

It was a freeing experience to write my book.  In one way it was paining, because I was forced to explore old wounds.  But when I finished, it was as if all the stories strung together throughout the pages served as mementos of beautiful little lives who never saw the sun.  Writing this blog is a very similar experience.

Or why was I not hidden like a stillborn child, like infants who never saw light?  Job 3:16 (N.K.J.V.)

In the above passage, Job was cursing the day of his birth.  He asks why he wasn’t hidden like the stillborn child.  The stillborn child never has the opportunity to see the beauty of the earthly sun.  This is sad for us, but not for the child.  When the stillborn child opens his or her eyes, they open them to the beauty of the true Son!  S-O-N!

The earthly sun can literally burn your skin; it enables you to see sorrow.  The heavenly Son brings beauty inter-fused with pure peace and love.  For those of us like Job, who haven’t been hidden, He has brought freedom.

Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.  John 8:36 (N.K.J.V.)

If we believe in Christ, we no longer need to be slaves to sin.  He has given us freedom.  Not only freedom from sin, but freedom from every pain we’ve ever suffered.  His freedom is ours for the taking.  I’m writing this today because there are many couples who endure miscarriage or stillbirth and wonder what happens to those beautiful little souls who leave us.  There are so many grieving parents who cannot rid themselves of the bitter taste of pain.  They find it beyond comprehension why they suffer so deeply for someone they never truly knew.  Take it from someone who has experienced it… the reason we hurt is because we DID know them.  It’s because we are the ONLY ones (besides God) who knew them.  We still have the parent-child connection, even if we weren’t able to raise them.  This is why surrendering their life, even to Jesus, is difficult.  We are born with animal instincts for our children.  We will defend to the death and sometimes even to their detriment.  Those lost babies are part of the two people who aided in their creation, and that will never change.

We are confident, yes, well pleased rather to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord.  2 Corinthians 5:8 (N.K.J.V.)

I find my greatest comfort in knowing that my children, who are not here with me in body, are present with the Lord.  They opened their eyes to the S-O-N, and thanks to John 8:36 I am free indeed!