Fifty-two days…

As I was lying in my hospital bed the other day, my mind became cluttered with fearful thoughts.  Though I kept crying out to God the entire time, battling anxiety was difficult.  Deep down I knew there was probably nothing wrong but some pulled muscles; however, the “what ifs” of the situation kept creeping in on me.

My family was obviously my largest concern.  Worries over how they would go on without me were the most distressing.  From a spiritual perspective, it’s almost a humorous thought.  Of course, God would help them move on, but it would hurt.  The thought of them dealing with sorrow saddens me. When those thoughts finally stopped running through my mind, I began to think about who I am as a person and what I would want people to remember about me if something were to happen.  (I know; I’m dramatic.)

I was thinking about how parents train their children.  Manners are usually a top priority; saying please and thank you are a must.  Why do we want our children to be well mannered?  In my opinion, there are two reasons.  The first reason is because we want them to be looked upon kindly as respectable people.  The second reason is because children are a reflection of their parents!  We don’t want our kids to be known as the unmannerly, rude, opened-mouth chewers that no one wants to sit next to at the dinner table.  Gross!  And, we definitely don’t want us, as parents, associated with those bad behaviors.

So, returning to my hospital-bound thoughts of what people might think of me… I’m hoping I will be remembered as a reflection of my heavenly Father.  I will never be a perfect child of God; I will never even come close, but I intend to spend my days here on earth trying.  When people see me, I want them to know I’m different.  I intend to do a better job at demonstrating the fruit of the spirit.  Believe me, I need some work!  I do not want to be the unmannerly, unruly child no one wants to sit next to at the table.  I’m hoping God will look upon me with pride and think, “Hey, that’s my daughter!”

Thank you to all who prayed for me; I am doing very well.

Galatians 5:22-25

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.  And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.  If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.



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