Thirty days…

I was out of non-dairy creamer this morning, so I had to use heavy cream.  Yep, I HAD to use it.  As if someone twisted my arm and that delicious thick cream mixed with beautifully strong dark roast coffee pumped full of a much needed dose of caffeine was forced down my throat.  Yesterday, as I was running around in the early morning trying to make myself presentable for the day, my first real dialogue with God began as, “Lord, please help me find my spanx!”  If you’ve learned anything about me from this blog, you now know I have a vain side of me that takes over.  Hello.  I’m Jennifer Kostick, and I fight vain insecurities with Spanx because of my inability to permanently give up my habitual love of heavy cream and butter.

Everything you’ve read about me is who I am.  There is no hiding it or denying it.  I’ve shared a lot of details about how I think and why I am this way.  I recently saw a commercial on television for a perfume.  A woman is dressed casually and almost looks tired.  She then approaches a beautifully painted red door, and walks through it.  When she crosses over the threshold to the other side, the door closes behind her and her entire outward appearance is transformed into a glamorous, energized new person.  When we encounter difficult situations in our lives and rely on God to help us through them, we also undergo transformation.  It is not an outward transformation but an inward transformation.  It’s the most important kind.

I’ve definitely experienced a major amount of inward transformation over the last twenty or so years.  All of it is due to circumstances beyond my control.  I still have a ways to go.  I think most women who see the commercial of which I referred, wish to walk through a beautiful door and feel completely renewed.  Well, this “girl on the doorstep” wants to say, “It is the time spent waiting on the doorstep learning to seek God through our tribulations that we become renewed.”  And, do you know what?  The inside renewal makes the outside beauty more vibrant than ever.  It starts with a light in your eyes, which only comes from a Savior living in your heart.  Jesus.

I know I act a little crazy with my vain insecurities, and I share them from my humorous perspective, but it is true that what is on the inside matters most.  However, I take that to mean more than just kindness, generosity, or other good characteristics that should live within people.  It’s Who lives on the inside that makes the difference.  Christ living within us makes us new and brings wholeness.  He brings ultimate transformation.  So, I may need Spanx for the tummy and face cream for the wrinkles, but I do have a light in my eyes that shines from within.  It comes from Jesus, and you can have that same light…