“Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net”
It’s no secret that I’m an anxious person. My anxieties started young. I had many unexplained fears, which would usually translate into panic and manifest physically. I had to struggle to overcome them. I still do.
The anxious part of me anticipates the worst in just about every scenario. I have a clear view of the “what ifs” in my life. Those “what ifs” do not hesitate to knock me straight on my knees in prayer. I used to loath that I process situations in this manner, but I’m learning God can use them for my good. I’m classifying them under the “All Things” category in my life.
Weaknesses are turned to strengths when Jesus is at the helm. (Tweet that)
Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. (N.K.J.V.)
I love Jesus with a passion that burns deep. I’m learning to see He is working what I used to consider the “crazy” parts of me for good. The “what ifs “of my life lead me to deeper, intimate conversations with the maker of my soul.
I have choices. I can connect to Him through my fear and allow Him to sooth me, or I can call myself crazy, belittle who I am, and dismiss the feelings while moving on without His help. I’m choosing His help.
I learned a long time ago that if I truly call Jesus Christ my Savior, then I need to actually allow Him to save me. (Tweet that)
I can’t do it myself. I have to relinquish control.
It isn’t brave to try to manage a situation by myself. However, it is brave to allow a God, sight unseen, pull the pieces of my life together and make me whole. And with Christ, the word “whole” takes on a new meaning.
Last year, I took the twins to the store to buy a birthday gift for my husband. They chose a Pittsburgh Penguins coffee mug. When he opened it from the box it was shiny, new and pleasing to the eye. But a few days later as Paul was grabbing it from the kitchen cupboard, it dropped and the handle broke off into a few large pieces.
He could have considered it beyond repair, but he treasured the mug his children gave him. So, in an attempt to fix it, he reached for the superglue and went to work. When it was finally put back together, each tiny line where it had once been broken showed vividly. But this made the mug even more special. Why? Because now it has a story.
The twins saw how their daddy cherished the gift they bought. He loved it enough to sit and glue those pieces back together.
There isn’t one good story worth listening to that is free from some type of turmoil. Those difficulties are what hooks the listener and makes them beg to hear the ending. A good story not only speaks of tragedy, it speaks of the “glue” that repaired what was once broken. It tells of newfound wholeness through a unique blending of scars transformed into blessings.
Allowing God to take control and heal your brokenness is what makes you unique.
Your story is a great one, and you are brave and blessed to live it! (Tweet that)
He alone can turn our weaknesses into our strengths.
In the last chapter of 1 Corinthians the apostle Paul says something powerful in the closing of his letter. I cannot think of better words to end this post than his…
1 Corinthians 16:13
Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong. (N.K.J.V.)
Be brave ; be strong, friends!
Hi Jennifer – As I began reading today’s post, you described me perfectly! I am full of anxiety 24/7. I, too, anticipate the worst. I always have a plan for the worst outcome. I too started out very, very young. Unfortunately I have had an even rougher time of it the last few years. (Briefly: lost my hearing, went thru an ugly divorce from an abusive husband, lost my job, lost our house and belongings, was diagnosed with severe chronic depression and OCPD, and the list goes on and on). I have 3 daughters (24, 21 and 11) and raising them on my own has made it much harder to NOT worry about tomorrow. I have been a Christian all my life. My first two years of college were spent at CLBS (California Lutheran Bible School), where I considering going into the ministry. Intellectually I know the story, I believe it, I just am having a hard time “feeling” it. I think the hardest thing for me was giving up the “control”. I always wanted to be in control, but in actuallity, I know God is the one in control. I struggle daily with the knowledge that he has forgiven me, loves me, and wants me to give up all of these worries, concerns, doubts, etc. I don’t know . . . I find myself wondering why. I have always analyzed everything. That’s something else I feel needs to be given up, to have complete faith. The Romans 8 verse has come to mind so often. I’ve been told by so many that God never gives you more than you can handle. And I trust and believe that, yet I still am having a difficult time with “feeling” the security, I guess, in the knowledge that He has that plan for me. I guess at times I don’t feel worthy of his love and forgiveness. It’s something I know is there yet I don’t feel the comfort that I did long ago. I’m not really making any sense right now. I’ve re-read this post 20 times and am still not satisfied that I’m getting my point across. I guess I just wanted to say thank you for your words tonight. They hit home for me. I am like your husband’s mug, yet I broke into a million pieces and am still not glued back together. Your words really stirred something up inside. That is a good thing. And I will pray that he will help me with the knowledge that He will turn even my weaknesses into strengths and that I will have the courage to stand fast in faith and be strong. Thank you for taking the time to listen . . .
jean
Hi Jean. I’m so sorry for your struggles. Throughout many difficult ups and downs in my life I have learned how important it is to choose to hold onto Jesus and His promises rather than operate purely out of how I feel. The facts are there are many days and situations that could easily overtake and overwhelm me. I have to make a consistent and clear choice to trust Him regardless.
I’m so humbled that you would take time to share your story with me. I am going to be praying for you. May God give you the peace you need today!
Love,
Jennifer
Jen,
Seems we have quite a bit in common…I suffer from ocd – an anxiety disorder. I hate this “thorn in my side”, but God has let it remain. I believe he has allowed it so that my dependence on Him will increase. “Apart from Him I can do nothing.” In our weakness God is able to show His strength. My illness keeps me abiding in the Lord for my strength. It has also helped me to be a much more compassionate person to people dealing with difficulties in life. There is a blessing in all of this. Thank you for sharing openly and honestly about this subject. And ps. I love the Penguins mug, as I am from Pittsburgh originally…go black and gold!
Blessings,
Bev
Hi Bev. It is amazing how God works when we recognize He has a plan, and that our weaknesses can be turned to strengths. Yay black and gold! We live just outside of Pittsburgh. I was born and raised here.
It has taken me a long time to read this because of the topic. It is taking me even longer to trust enough to totally surrender to the only hope in life: our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Can really use all the prayers I can get. This “broken cup” is in serious need of repair
I’m praying for you, Margie! May you have a peace-filled day today, and continue to trust in our Savior who is the Only Hope! God bless you!