For those of you who read on a regular basis, you know my story is one of struggle. You understand this blog was birthed from a 15 year journey through stillbirth, miscarriage, and secondary infertility.

But before then, he came…

Pauly baby on couch with me photo

We were young and constructing carefully crafted plans of a big family with lots of siblings for our perfect, firstborn child. However, for 15 years there were only three of us.

the three of us in a frame photo

We were given “just one” to love.

People who didn’t know our story would ask, “Just one?” I always hated that question. And, yes, I do realize hate is a strong word…

How can any human being created in the image of God have a “just” attached to them?

To me, “Just one” meant: time to play together with no distractions, time to read, teach, and learn through his eyes. “Just one” was a gift from God that kept giving then, and after two more children, keeps giving now.

Today, He is no longer a boy. He is a man. Today is his 21st birthday.

My “just one” child for the first 15 years of his life is a singer, song writer, guitar player, worship leader, and man after God’s own heart. He is more than his father or I could have ever hoped he would be.

Some only acknowledge my twins as miracles. This is mostly because their lives came through a bitter war waged in a reproductive endocrinologist’s office through silent grief and broken hearts.

However, my oldest is our true miracle.

Pauly Guitar photo

He gave us the will to fight for completion of our family. He kept us accountable to God because really… who can look into the face of their small child and not believe in a Creator who designs His perfect will for our lives?

Our oldest son was the miracle who gave us the will to keep going when we buried his sister before we ever had the chance to hear her cry. Our first born son, our, “just one” was the gift of hope from a God who loves us all so very much.

So, today, as our family celebrates the first miracle we received, I want to encourage you to remember that even when it seems as if God doesn’t hear your silent pleas and songs of sorrow, He does.

Our God sends miracles divine and true. Sometimes, they aren’t considered such, but I guarantee one is near you providing hope. Keep searching, look harder if you don’t see it, don’t ever stop recognizing the miracles in your life. They were given to you by a God who holds you in the palm of His hand. He is the I Am. And He will, friends. I promise you He will!

Love,

Jennifer

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