Rest_nI’ve been fighting sickness for the last four weeks. On Thursday, I decided to finally see the doctor only to find out I have bronchitis and an upper respiratory infection. Antibiotics are a miracle to the person who needs them. I’m feeling so much better.

Over the last weeks as I’ve struggled with the loss of my voice, which has caused me to cancel teaching my Bible study and also successfully kept me from sitting at my piano singing my heart out, I’ve been asking God the question why a lot.

Okay, Lord, why am I not getting better?

Why can’t I have my voice to teach and worship?

Why, why, why?

Yesterday, while lying in bed and feeling the sickest I had felt thus far, I noticed the all too familiar pang of conviction. I should have been asking, “What do You need me to hear during this time?” What do You want to speak to my soul?” But for some reason, I allowed the whys to drown out the moments that could have been still and sweet.

I often find myself more comfortable in “go mode” rather than “still mode.” That’s not always a good thing. It’s important to be ambitious and swift to the call of the Lord, but I think we aren’t always comfortable with being told to rest and slow down. We assume we are being punished and are fast to ask why before we decipher that maybe we need to rest, be still, and listen.

Last night, as I wrestled with these notions, I began to pray that I would become quick to listen to Him rather than cry out the question why when I don’t understand.

I often ask what God is trying to teach me when I’m in the middle of frustrating circumstances, and what I’m learning is that He doesn’t always want to “teach me.” Sometimes, He just wants to speak words of wisdom and comfort to my soul. Ailments or anything else that may force rest isn’t necessarily a punishment, sometimes it’s a gift – a chance to hear His voice in the middle of a raging world.

If you’re like me and find yourself forced into rest this weekend, then maybe take a minute to stop asking why and just listen to the Lover of your soul. Let Him sing sweet songs of comfort and joy over you.

He is constantly whispering His love, and He longs for us to be still enough to actually hear it.

Have a beautiful weekend, friends!

Love,

Jennifer

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