Erin Salmon guest postHi, Friend! I love when I’m able to have a glimpse into someone’s heart journey. We’ve decided that the quest to find beautiful begins in the the deepest corners of our hearts, and, today, I’m welcoming Erin to my doorstep. She is going to share what her journey looks like. Please welcome her and take a little time to visit her online space.


 

When Jennifer asked me to share some thoughts on beauty, I have to admit I was a bit nervous and entirely humbled. I have chosen silence on my own online journal over the past couple of weeks, as I’ve been learning the hard way that writing in a public forum, no matter how faith filled, cannot be a substitute for prayer. Fellowship with friends and talking about dreams over chips and salsa cannot take the place of spending time with the Lord.

Perhaps from the outside looking in, I’m in the most exciting season of life. I’m going to be twenty-five this year. I’m married to a remarkable man who I deeply love and respect. I have a rewarding job as a social worker, an amazing friend group at our church, and a reasonably sized following for my blog. I’m wide open to the world and whatever the future holds. But on the inside, the view is a bit different. If I’m honest, I’m kind of terrified.

If I could only use one word to characterize my current state of being, it would be waiting. Of course, the rub is that I have never been a particularly patient person. Surrender has never come easily to me, and anxiety is often paralyzing.

My husband and I have reached the point in our marriage where we’re beginning to discover how much work it takes to keep a relationship healthy and thriving. We’re having to make decisions about where to live, what kind of careers we want, whether to pursue master’s degrees, when to start a family. We’ve struggled to reconcile the desires of our hearts with the sinking reality of doors that remain closed for now.

I’ve been meditating on the story of Abraham. When we first meet him in scripture, God has told he and his wife to pick up their lives and go to a new place that has yet to be revealed to them. Scripture says that they obeyed, seemingly without hesitation. I don’t know that I could ever be so bold. Then, after receiving the child that they have yearned for for decades, God tells Abraham to sacrifice him, and once again, Abraham obeys. He fully trusts God, even though no manual or road map has been provided, and he is always more interested in what God wants to do in his life than he is in his own comfort.

I have spent the past couple of years in a balance between quiet desperation and defiance, saying, “No, God, you don’t understand — I cannot just pick up and go without some sort of direction”, all the while starving for hope, promise, and the abundant life Christ came to give me.

If you’re still here, I imagine you must be wondering what all of this has to do with beauty.

In spite of my wrestling, I’ve always been able to appreciate the idea of beauty being a process. Ecclesiastes says that the Lord makes everything beautiful in its time. I can sense now that He is tending my soul, breaking down the walls of my resistance.

The first chapter in The Book of James talks about the trials of life, saying that we should consider them joy. Verse three says that when our faith is tested, we build endurance, and that the perfect result of endurance is completion.

We are being made beautiful and complete, even in the midst of our trials. Scripture promises that God is faithful to finish the work He has started — he never leaves us, but He does ask us to trust him. This is especially difficult when He seems silent, and the road ahead unmarked.

I cannot presume to know exactly what you are going through today. Perhaps you are in a settled season, knowing exactly what you were made to do and the trajectory of your life. If you happen to be here, can I simply encourage you that God is not finished? He longs to lead us out of the realm of our comfort zones and into a more rich, abundant life in Christ. Or, perhaps you are like me, in the oft painful process of starting out. I wish I could say I have a lot of practical answers to make this season easier, but the one thing I have learned over the past two years is that the Lord is absolutely personal. He is faithful. Where I have demanded a road map, he has graciously offered Himself as the Way. He is our Wonderful Counselor, our Almighty God, our Everlasting Father, and our Prince of Peace. He knows exactly what we need, and He is near to us when we call on Him.

Please, no matter where you are, choose to be still before the Lord. Allow Him to do the hard and holy work of tending your heart. He is making you beautiful.

ErinErin is a twenty-something still in the process of getting to know herself. She is passionate about creating a space where authenticity matters more than efficiency. She has a degree in counseling and a minor in biblical and theological studies, and now works as a case manager for children in the foster care system. Erin and her husband live in the mountains of northeast Georgia, where they play just as hard as they work. She would love to connect with you at erinsalmonwrites.com or on Twitter @erinmsalmon.

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