Hi, Friend! Just in case you haven’t noticed, I took a little blogging break over the last week and a half. We went on a family vacation where I desperately needed to recharge. It was wonderful. Thank you to those who reached out via email to ask if I was okay. It’s nice to know you care, and I appreciate you!
I’ve been praying about what to write. Sometimes, even after a week of relaxation, it’s difficult to find where to start again. To be truthful, I’m a little perplexed about how I’m feeling. There’s a restless type of determination to run hard after God knowing that He has something in store, but I don’t know what it is.
Have you ever felt that way? Like there is a change waiting in the current flow of life but you can’t exactly put your finger on what? I want to lace up my running shoes and just chase God until my heart is pounding and my lungs hurt. I know that isn’t necessarily the most appealing image, but I want nothing more than to feel alive in the presence of God in a brand new way. I need it. My soul is shouting at me from the inside out to go. Just run.
Here’s the problem: I don’t know where I’m supposed to be going, and if I begin running, I’m not sure what direction to move.
When I was away, I posted the following as my Facebook status:
Life isn’t black and white, and the road ahead isn’t always clear. Actually, right where we are standing isn’t exactly honest and open.
Some say it’s gray, but I don’t buy that either. Life is a palette of colors. They can be vibrant and bright or washed out and faded. If we’re not careful, the colors have a habit of running into one another and separating themselves from what’s intended. If not kept in focus, they can be chameleon-like and cause a divagation of thoughts.
Recently, I’ve been thinking about the blur of colors. Everyone has their own opinions and are taking it upon themselves to state what God’s opinion is. I’m not just discussing the Supreme Court’s redefinition of marriage. I’m talking about any struggle people are enduring and trying to fix themselves.
We seem to be people who are relentless at working to get things done our way. Maybe it’s a crack in our marriages, relationships with our children, friendships, or inability to see worth in our lives. We work to repair rather than prayerfully wait for redirection and spiritual rescue.
Right now, I’m sitting in a beach chair positioned in the sand. I’m looking around in wonder at the beauty God declared with His voice – thinking of how His breath bellows against the waters and controls the motion of the sea. I’m in awe that His palm is large enough to fit each struggle we face tightly inside. His grip is unfathomably strong.
From where I’m sitting, the sand is tan, the sea is turquoise, the sky is a brilliant shade of blue, and above it all there is One God on the throne watching. And, when I say watching, I don’t mean helplessly.
He’s breathing, living, in control, majestic and as mighty as He was the moment He spoke this beauty into existence. There is no separation or running together of the brilliance He declared.
Whatever your worries, whatever your circumstances might entail, The mighty color of His love is enough to cover it ALL.
Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (See Romans 8:38)
Those who overcome have been given a promise, and nothing has the power to steal it away.
Keep on serving, friend. Keep believing. Keep looking toward the brilliant colors of promise. It’s for you. He created it with you in mind. He loves you.
Today, as I reread the words I wrote a week ago, I’m reminded that His promises hold strong. They are beautiful and worth the restless pursuit of upcoming change. We might have a difficult time identifying it, but His mystery should be held with beautiful anticipation of what’s to come.
The ability to hold faith, trust, and hope in a supreme God who loves us can only be defined as tender mercy. His path is perfect, even if we aren’t sure where to step next.
I know I seem to be unloading a lot of thoughts on you today. Abigail Adams said, “My bursting heart must find vent at my pen.”
My heart is bursting with the hope of following hard after God in a brand new way. I wish you could hear the passion in my voice, but since we can’t meet face-to-face, I pray the passion of my heart cracks wide open and translates His hope to you.
Talk soon, friend.
Love,
Jennifer
I certainly feel like this a lot… and to make matters worse, when I take off running without waiting for His lead, I feel like I am always getting in the way of what He wants. I wish we could see just a glimpse of God’s plan for our life so we could know which way to go.
I SO get it, Jennifer! It’s so tough and takes more patience than I often have, but He is faithful to fulfill every need in the in between time.
Jennifer, I’m certainly going to this right now. Have been for over a year and a half. Trying to figure out which direction God really wants me in. Trying to see what I’m supposed to do. In all this effort I felt like I was supposed to stop at all. It has been a few weeks since I wrote on my site and over a week since I went off Facebook altogether. I didn’t hear from anybody at all until today from one lovely Sister in Christ. I’m happy you had people checking in on you. I see how important that is. One heart needs others. Maybe it’s just a sign that I should stop everything altogether and not even try to figure anything else out.
God bless you as you try to figure out which direction, Jennifer. ❤️
Hi, Heather. Waiting is never easy, especially when you feel it deep in the bones. I understand how you feel. For me, as much as I want to run hard after whatever it is I’m supposed to pursue, I know I just need to keep going one step at at time and pressing on – living each day and serving Christ to the best of my ability. We cannot go wrong that way. Keep on keeping on, girl. Your words matter!
Thanks for the encouragement, Jennifer. <3
I needed to read this today. Thank you for these words. I’m in a similar place and struggling with how to take the next step, even what that step might be as I have no idea yet where He’s taking me – yet so excited and ready to jump all in and start living the next adventure. Have been in this place for a while and getting anxious as I feel myself moving closer to the threshold of this next chapter.
Hi, Kathryn! I think the best part of waiting is the knowing that there is something brand new and beautiful ahead. We can take heart in that God knows even if we don’t. Thank you so much for reading today! Be blessed, friend!
Thank you so much for sharing!! We must be twins or something because I’ve been feeling the exact same way lately!! This huge anticipation of something big, but yet I don’t have any idea of what it could be!! Glad I’m not the only one who feels like this sometimes!!
I’m praying for you, Abby! May your direction be made clear and new and beautiful gifts arrive in your path!